What a Difference A Year Makes....

Wow..I can't believe it has been one year since tragedy struck our lives. One year ago this week my mom found out that she had stage three breast cancer and George's brother Tommy died ...all in the same week. My mom was very lucky and blessed by God's grace and is considered cancer free right now. All of our lives are in the hands of God and through all of the trials of last year we learned that all too well. It is so hard to hand everything over to God, but when he places you in the palm of his hand you have no other choice. Through all of the trials we have become stronger with each other. George's sister Kelly accepted God's Grace and now she knows where she will spend eternity. We are still praying for other family members but is so awesome to see the power of God work in Kelly's life. She has made dramatic changes in her life. I am so happy for her and her family. We are actually going on vacation together this summer...can't wait!
Tommy was George's one and only little brother and the past year has been very difficult for George. I can't even imagine living life without my sister. His death has brought back many memories..good and bad. All of the things they used to do growing up and how they now are married with children. When George and I first got married, Tommy used to come over to the house and we would all play football in the yard. I still remember the first time that George took me to his house to meet his family. He went in his room to change clothes and left me in the living room with all of those new people and I was nervous. Tommy said "so do you love my brother?" in front of everyone....:) Everytime we had a new baby he was always wanting to hold the little bundle of joy, but boy did he make me nervous. Tommy had so much potential, he was so tall and great at sports, he could have played for a college team if he had wanted, he had a really good heart...he just made some bad choices.
It is amazing to me how much Tommy's death has affected me. I loved him, he was George's brother...but it is so much more, hard to explain actually. I guess it was seeing my mom so close to death and seeing so many other friends and family pass away last year too. It made me really see how quickly life ends. I stood back in the ICU with my hand on his leg as life slipped right out of his body....I saw his heart stop beating. I watched his mom as she saw her baby slip away and it made me think of how precious my own children are...and how quickly they could be gone...or how that could have been George....they don't belong to me but to God and again I know it is all in his hands. I know that he has a reason for everything that he does and I don't question it, it is not my place to, I just have to trust him.
In 2000 I lost a set of twins, for some odd reason, although I was devastated, I felt peace through their death. I prayed that God would take them on home if something were wrong with them, intuition I guess, and he did. After they were gone, I wondered why??? Why did he place life inside of me and then take it right back out? One night while I was laying bed, not long after their death, I thought about heaven and what they were doing there. Those thoughts opened my eyes and I thought then about how wonderful heaven would be when I get there to see them. In that moment I had my answer from God...Heaven is full of wonderful, glorious things...streets lined in gold, mansions on the hill...but when he put my babies up there it all changed...they mean so much more than gold and I can't even imagine when I finally will get to see them!! Since their death God has placed many more treasures up there for me to look forward to....Oh how beautiful heaven must be!!!! Today I thank God for all that he has done for me and all that he will do for me...without him I am nothing.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death: I will fear no evil for thou art with me;thy rod and thy staff they comfort me